BETWEEN THE LINES

OK, don't turn away from me now

THIS isn't a SAD post

nope

MATTHEW FINALLY HAS HIS HEADSTONE PLACED

I am so happy it is there now

"unhappiness can't stick in a persons soul when it's slick with tears"

Sure I'll cry when I see it

'supposed to do that

Last winter when I visited his grave, I couldn't quite find the spot as it wasn't marked

The Marker was GONE

I think my daughter thought she was going to have to sedate me as I was so upset that this little marker was missing.

you can bet your sweet bippy, I called the cemetery place and "expressed a few Un-christian" words of disapproval

(this photo was taken over Memorial Day, when they FIXED the problem)

so finally NOW, Matthew has THIS

(my sweet DIL sent the photo to me)

That there's My boy folks

(if you are wondering about the building on the headstone, it is the Salt Lake City Temple, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints  where he and his wife were married)

So here's the deal

it has his name

the date of his birth...and the date of his death

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW, IS WHAT TOOK PLACE  BETWEEN THE LINES

between the birth and death part

it is not just , dot, dot, dot, dot

NO....there was  LIFE THERE

a whole lot of amazing, talent, caring, fun, son, brother, husband, father

I will make sure people know about that part

I will share those stories with his children

Just as we should for all of those people who passed on before us

They lived lives worth knowing about.

I don't know about you, but I have always loved walking through cemeteries (especially old ones)

(this was an amazing one we visited on my trip to Ottawa)

I love reading the names and the dates.

I love "wondering" about those laid there

sometimes I'd like to make up stories to myself of what went on before

Which makes me think, we need to make sure OUR own story is more powerful then what someone might imagine

only

we don't get to see "what is between the lines"

I am going to be buried here

(or if I were to be cremated, I 'd be scattered here...and there...and everywhere as I like to "scatter sunshine, everywhere I go")

It is a little cemetery in the area where my parents live

basically just in a cow pasture

(yeah you heard me)

The "locals" keep it up, mowed etc

I will be happy here

my dad has spent time mowing the grass here

and you know who else is here that I can "hang" with

well, let me show you

My brothers little boy who died at age 6

of a congenital heart disease

My grandpa and grandma

Grandpa who could whistle any tune, while I'd ride in the truck with him checking on the livestock

and Grandma, who made the best "homemade ANYTHING", and sat me on her knee as a young girl and told me the story

of The Three Little Kittens Who Lost Their Mittens

and

My Great Grandpa

(his wife is laid beside him)

yeah the tombstone is old and has lichen growing on it

but I'll tell you

there are some incredible stories between the lines

a great grandma (who my daughter was named after) who came to Canada as a young bride of 17

who grew the most lovely flowers on their ranch (some still trying to thrive today) as we (our family) still owns that property,

still lay there , are some rock footpaths that led to their house.

and then

My Great-great grandparents

Their headstone is newer (replaced)

as there was a historical celebration, a centennial,  of those who came across the prairies of America in handcarts

for religious freedoms

a new beginning

a new heritage

these grandparents of mine came across with everything they owned in a handcart and on their backs

burying loved ones along the way

with very little markings to remember them by
great-great grandma who use to send her kids to the cellar
when the Indians came
and she'd exchange with them a sack of flour
praying they'd leave with her scalp intact

so in this  little cemetery is where my parents will be laid

and me

(but I have been threatening my family that I want the Morman Tabernacle Choir to sing at my funeral ...or perhaps Il Divo...and  a life sized Angel at my head with a spot light on it , and a brochure people can pick up, so they know what was "between the lines" ......just kidding of course)

On My headstone it will read

SUVATE

(Comanche word for "it is finished")

???what do you want yours to read???

I am happy with that

I think I'll conduct cemetery evening bunko nights (tee,hee)

but one thing I KNOW

is

when we bury someone we love, we must also bury a part of our heart

but we should not bemoan this loss

our hearts

are perhaps all they can take with them

Matthew Purnell Doman

I love you with all my heart

and I hope I can carry the story of your life,

the life between the lines

with me forever.

(Matt's family on a trip to Hawaii, wife, son and daughter)

SEEING DEATH AS THE END OF LIFE

IS LIKE SEEING THE HORIZON AS THE END OF THE OCEAN

(David Searls)

That, is my healing Balm

and it makes me happy