The WEIGHT of WAITING

Just a few things on my mind

to share with you

WAITING

what is it in YOUR life that you are waiting for

a new home

a vacation

a new job

a transfer

a crisis to end

a child to "find his way"

a husband's return from the military

SOOOOO many things.

sometimes the things we wait for Weigh heavy on us

I guess they shouldn't really

because Things tend to happen WHEN they happen

nothing we do can to make that speed up it seems

Do you lie awake at night

going over and over the things you are waiting for

I always am amazed how at night

things become harder, seem to be more unattainable

BIGGER

Insecurities and hurts , anxieties and fears

GROW teeth at night

AHHHHH daylight, and yup

everything seems Lighter

 (pinterest)

 Sure seems to make a difference for me anyway. 

My mom and dad are in the process of WAITING right now
but sadly since Good Health is not going to be a possibility for them
waiting...for what really

Dad says he is ready to die

 
They hurt so much (I won't go into all the details) but there really isn't anything
the Medical Profession can do for them.

It hurts to watch THEM hurt
My brother and I took a trip to Southern Alberta just for a little visit
Taking advantage of those opportunities while we can
Dad was in the hospital then....is home now

I , ALWAYS as a blogger take my camera for photos
But I could NOT bring myself to take a picture of my daddy lying in that hospital bed
looking so frail and vulnerable
I wanted a photo of him and my brother and sister
with him, but I couldn't do it

So I choose a happier photo instead
(I've had this on before) 

This was just last August. My dad and some great grandchildren
MY grandchildren

he has deteriorated significantly even those few months ago 

Even watching my mom sitting on the couch all wrapped up in a cozy blanket
hands folded in her lap
dark blue veins, like tributaries leading to and from
her life's story

Time is an ODD Ungraspable thing
consistent...but never in a hurry


It's OK
Waiting 
teaches us stuff I guess
It's OK to perhaps tell the Lord
(as my dad does) that it's Time
no need to wait any longer



And besides...I think MATT is also
WAITING
for my dad to join him "there"
that will be a joyful happy time for them both actually 

 (pinterest)

There is a chair WAITING for him , my dad


for the Rest of us

 

 The sun will set

as we Wait on another day

I hope I don't let the "waiting on things" in my life

spoil the Joy of just Living THIS day 

 (view from out my front porch)
 
 This isn't meant to be a sad or depressing post.  It's the journey
in life we will all go through at some point 

I love Bruce Springsteen's song
Waiting on a Sunny Day  (in part)

It's raining but there ain't a cloud in the sky
Must of been a tear from your eye
Everything will be okay

I'm waiting, waiting on a sunny day
gonna chase the clouds away
Waiting on a sunny day
      

50 SHADES OF..... 2013

Ha Ha

I thought the title might grab your attention

because , seriously....I got Nothing

 

Just not that much to blog about lately

 

So I'll try and shade in some thoughts

 

It's a new year

in case you didn't know

As I get older I find that a New Year

isn't really a New Year....but a new number

2011, 2012, 2013

a new way of "charting things"

 

but....A NEW YEAR

might be something entirely different

focusing on more of a New You

in THAT year

(deep eh)

 

I have spent 61 New Years

the Date's have had little meaning as to the

way I have grown

spiritually and mentally and emotionally

they blend into one year from another sometimes, 

 

So, therefore

there are many Shades...30, 40, 50...or 61 in my case

of how a new year has affected you
polishing your experiences
sharpening your opinions

 

Time flies, that I KNOW

so trite, but so true

 

(pinterest)

 

Those wings are flapping faster then I'd like sometimes

SLOW DOWN

 

the older you get, the quicker things change

for good...for bad...for better...for worse

(hmmm, was that a marriage vow?)

 

The tricky part

is that

it's EASY PEASY to deal with the good,

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

(yes I love Duck Dynasty)

 

and well, Better is just Better !!!

 

for Bad

harder...does it make you angry, bitter, what??

 

for Worse

now there's a doozy

worse, is well....just worse

 

Worse is where we get tested right to the core of who we are

WHO WE ARE
not so sure I have liked what I have found out about myself

I have been reading some of my journals over the years

and I have found a "pattern"

a pattern I want to change......somehow

 

Since Time Flies

I better get on it so I can see some accomplishments

in this place I want to be

Where I thought I'd be by now

WHO I thought I'd be by now

my dreams

my visions

my hopes

 

(pinterest)

 

they don't always change over the years

just need a little altering

as reality hits you right in the schnoz

 

THIS year I suspect will be full of many

experiences for growth for me

(hopefully not in the waist line)

My parents are getting older and much more fragile

I am still in the process of  "building" my life here

children with dreams and aspirations of their own

grandchildren finding their way

moves

health

accidents

 

I don't know

NEW YEARS have surprises for all of us

I want to try and stay on top of it all

Like the country song

"I'm gettin' a little stronger all the time"

that's what I need to do

 

so

HAPPY NEW YEAR

for each and every one of you

a New YOU..in this new year

this calendar year

just a number

but WHAT does it hold for You

 

 

 

I'm gonna go for it

before I run out of numbers